It's Sunday, and we are heading to the Keys. DaddyT was kind enough to allow us to use his Mini Cooper S (that's the sports model, rubes.) Here is a picture of a similar car. DaddyT's was blue.
Mini
I want one of these cars. Despite their small appearance, there is plenty of leg room in them - more than my Saturn. And the S model is really fast. Da Pickl did all the driving (I didn't want to drive in South Florida traffic in someone else's nice car.) and he put the car to its limits. Apparently on the interstates in FL, 82mph is no problem, as several cops would cruise by going about 90mph. One of the neatest features of the car was the sensored wind shield wipers. They could adjust speed to match how hard it was raining. If I didn't enjoy so much not having a car payment, I would go out and buy one of these.
Back to the story. We picked up some provisions at the local Pubix and headed south. After getting lost briefly, we managed to hit Highway 1 and we were in Keys. We made one stop to smoke and catch up with the football scores at a bar on Key Largo before we continued on to Marathon Key. We were staying at the Banana Bay Resort on Marathon Key. The hotel was really a two and a half star hotel - the rooms were small, and there wasn't any room service or anything. As it was a stopping point, it didn't really matter. Here are two views from the room. Notice the hurricane damage:
Marathon Hotel View
marathon view
We actually picked quite a good place to stay. We were hungry and thirsty, and we were right next to the Hurricane Bar and Grille on Marathon. We went into the place, and sat down at a table in the center. There were TVs everywhere, all showing the football games that were going on. Our waitress Emily was really cool - even doing Jager and Red Bull shots with us. She pointed out the sliders on the menu. They have chicken wing sliders, crab cake sliders, traditional sliders, and a few other flavors - I can't remember. They tasted excellent! What a great local hangout.
The next day we headed to Key West for some fun and debauchery. I thought the keys were all spread out, with huge bridges connecting the islands. In fact, the keys are really close together with small bridges connecting them. There are only two big bridges on the whole drove along the keys. One two miles long and, of course, the 7 Mile Bridge.
7 Mile Bridge
The Keys
Route 1 takes you down Truman Street (where is Teasers?) to Duval Street. We drove up the length of Duval and parked near Mallory Square. Once parked, the first thing we had to do was go to my favorite hangout on Key West, the
Hog's Breath Saloon.
Hog's Breath Saloon
We sat at the bar, ate some lunch, had some beers, and watch the live music. The music was two dudes - one on guitar and one one bongo/drum player. It turns out that the percussionist had been a member of Sanatana and was at Woodstock. They were good. Da Pickl even got on the
web cam while he was talking to his friend Jenny - I'm not sure if I made it on there or not.
Now it was time to stroll along Duval. Apparently not a lot of people go to Key West on Thanksgiving weekend, because there weren't a whole lot of people there. I bought some coozies and a Crazy Shirt (best t-shirt in the world) called "The Road to Key West", which I thought was appropriate, as we drove the entire length. I actually had to buy the shirt at another store down Duval, as the first store didn't have my size (fat). Along the was, lo and behold, there was Teasers! It was upstairs where another "dancing establishment" had been the last time I was on the island. We knew where we were heading after the shopping.
We dropped our stuff at the car and went out to Mallory Square. It was practically empty (of course, that would probably change when sunset time came). There was some dude fishing and teasing a pelican with his catches. There was also a large cruise liner about to depart.
Big Boat
Island Across the Way
Da Pickl in Mallory Square
After watching the ship depart, we headed to Teasers. It was almost deserted. There were two dancers - Michaela and Stripper #2. Michaela was from the Czech Republic, was tall, and had quite a nice body on her. Stripper #2 not so nice. Because there were only two dancers, there were times that the stage was empty. Both Da Pickl and I got lap dances from both girls. (For those of you that don't know Florida's stripper laws, there is only a small triangle of body you can't touch during a lap dance. I think you can figure that one out. The first time I was at Teasers, when Kelly and DaddyT got married on the island, I sat on my hands like I was "trained" to do in Colorado. I was quickly showed my error by the dancer - showed, not told.) Michaela was really nice (and really soft). It turns out that she is in the US because some guy visited the Czech Republic, saw her, and asked her to move. I should try that. Stripper #2 was only OK. She flirted with Da Pickl during his lap dance. I wish I had avoided Stripper #2 and spent my other $40 on Michaela.
We left Teasers to go get some dinner. After we turned the corner from the stairs, we suddenly had a companion. That was Caroline. She had responded to something Da Pickl said to me - I don't remember what - and now she was walking along with us to the Hog's Breath. She joined us at the bar and we bought her a Key Lime shot (YUMMY!) She flashed her breast at me in response to conversation about Teasers. She apparently stays in the Keys about two months a year, selling artwork. She is also famous (well sort of.) She was on Insomniac with Dave Attell when he was in Key West during Fantasy Fest. She appears topless with her breasts painted in Rasta colors and covered in beads. If you want to see it, get the Best of Insomniac Vol 2. She appears at 12:03 in the Key West episode standing between Dave and this nude dude he was interviewing.
Anyway, she was good company, so we allowed her to accompany us to the Cuban restaurant Casa Cayo Hueso. Man, what a meal that was. I don't remember what I ate, but it was really good. (I am kicking myself for not getting a trip notebook for my Florida trip. I do it for all my other trips.) We had found out that Caroline was staying on Marathon Key as well, so we told her to hook up with us at the Hurricane Bar. We actually ended up following her the whole way there. (She was driving one of those new Chevy HHR's - an ugly vehicle in my opinion - so it was obviously her.) We caught up to her at the parking lot and said we were going to the room first, and that we would meet her inside. She was afraid we were going to abandon her. The reality was I needed to take a dump. We assured her we would be there. When we did arrive, she was at the bar talking to two men sitting there. Like we didn't know that was going to happen. She actually spent a majority of the time there, so we sat at the same table and talked it up with Emily. Pictures:
World Famous Caroline
Us and Caroline
The next morning we checked out, but not before we walked around the Banana Bay grounds. There was quite a bit of hurricane damage. The tiki bar down by the water, which was closed, actually had a few older women wrapping Christmas presents. I guess when Santa Claus is vacationing in the Keys, he outsources some of his work. Here are some pictures:
Banana Bay
Banana Bay Damage
We then got some breakfast at a local breakfast spot, stopped by KMart to buy some travelling music (the music in the car was not to our liking, so we bought some Beastie Boys and Bob Marley), and headed out. On a gas and smoke stop, we saw this crane hanging out by the pumps.
Crane at Gas Station
We also saw tons of cops along the route back home. The love to nab speeders on Route 1 (but not on the interstates, apparently.) And the only rain of our vacation happened on the way back. Florida downpours.
We spent the rest of the day and evening hanging out with Kelly, DaddyT, and Katie. It was nice and relaxing. The next day I went out and snapped some pictures of their neighborhood before Kelly took us to the airport. Getting into the airport was as smooth as our arrival. I love that airport.
It was sad to go, but it was great seeing my awesome friend Kelly and her family. It was probably the most relaxing vacation I have ever had.
Thanks again Kelly and DaddyT for a great time! I love you guys!
And now, as promised the rest of the pictures. I wish I had taken more, but I am still learning to do the Japanese tourist thing. Perhaps I should start eating sushi and drinking sake.
One result of Wilma was one of the trees behind Kelly's house lost most of its leaves. In this tree lived three iguanas. The biggest one was this huge old man with a 4 foot tail. He didn't like it when the dog, Beukabeum (sp?) was sniffing around.
Old Man 1
Old Man 2
Old Man Reacting to Beuk
Old Man Reacting 2
And here are some of the neighborhood:
Banyan Tree 1
Banyan Tree 2
Damage on Street
Damage on Street 2
Here is a picture of one of the many crab spiders that were hanging from the screen over the pool. I looked at one close up, and the pattern on its back looks like a skull. We actually saw a hatching whle we were sitting on the patio. I wanted to spray them, but Kelly would have none of it. About 30 minutes later, they were all on their way. DaddyT wasn't happy about that when he heard about it. I even saw one in the family room the next day, setting up it's little nest.
Crab Spider
And here are the remaining three. It figures that Kelly would have her eyes shut in MY picture with her.
Da Pickl Doing
Something 
Kelly and Da Pickl
me and kelly
