Intelligent Design My Ass

As my millions of fans know, the religious righteous are trying to get "Intelligent Design" taught in our nations public schools. Of course, it is a slam on evolution and a cover for bringing God back into the schools.

The theory of Intelligent Design states that the creatures that inhabit the world are not a result of a series of accidents or mutations. Instead, someone or something designed the whole shebang. The disguised assumption is that God did the designing (although I am sure some people think it was aliens.)

Well, I call bullshit on that. If there is a designer, he/she/it must be a moron. Just look at the human body. Any designer who knew what the hell they were doing would not have designed the human back or teeth. The back can go out at any time (like, when you are spitting out your toothpaste.) And teeth - why the hell do they have nerves? Before the age of dentistry and toothbrushes, our teeth would rot, hurt like crazy, and probably eventually fall out. And if one got an abscess, there were no antibiotics to help. So why have the pain when there was nothing they could do about it? Huh? Answer that one, intelligent designer. (Maybe the designer works at the big Microsoft in the sky - designing just enough to get by.)

So if there is an intelligent designer, I lean toward it being aliens. They designed us poorly so that they could later easily conquer us if we get uppity.